RECALIBRATE CARETAKER CONDITIONING ~ Decide Your Direction & Pace
Chakra 3: Empowerment — Reprogram-Yourself Experiential
Video: https://youtu.be/J3mi01RIe54
This video explains the science behind the exercise below. Click the word “PRIMAL” to start it.
From TEACH TANTRA by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, and Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, School of Counseling & Tantra
For more on this topic:
https://wp.me/p1TVCy-6Mg
CONTEXT
As you grew from fetus to teen, caretakers and institutions imprinted different levels of your brain:
Level 1 — Spinal Nerve: body reactions
Level 2 — Limbic System: emotional responses
Level 3 — Thinking Patterns: thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations
Behavior, not just words, showed or lacked love and imprinted each level of your brain.
You developed Level 2 emotional consciousness as you interacted with caretakers, siblings, peers, schools, and media.
To feel fully loved and develop at Level 2, you need emotional expression and contact with people who love you, care for you, protect you, and support you in choosing how and when you meet your emotional needs.
Consider your attitudes toward sexuality, anger, or spirituality as examples of Level 2 programming.
The exercise in this introduction invites you to probe the origins and power of your sexual conditioning.
If parents, religious guides, media icons, literary paragons, authority figures, and peers encouraged you to explore sexuality at your own pace and in your own direction, you developed sexual and romantic inner voices and a center capable of coordinating them.
But if your caretakers and others discouraged you, you may have suppressed your sexual and lover parts.
Perhaps they imprinted you with their attitudes toward masturbation, sex with people with disabilities, or relationships with people whose race, body type, age, religion, occupation, wealth, location, or education differed from—or resembled—your own.
Did caretakers, media, or peers stop you from doing what you wanted?
Did they make you do what you did not want to do?
If they interfered with your erotic explorations, you may have conformed to what they wanted or rebelled against it.
If parents forbade self-pleasuring, they held you back.
If, on the other hand, they pressured you to masturbate instead of sharing sexual experiences with other people, they pushed you toward masturbation.
When people pushed or pulled you, they implied that you lacked the judgment to choose for yourself.
They wanted you to develop differently than you might have if you had explored your interests freely, without being pushed or restrained.
Perhaps you obeyed them and acted as those who pushed or restrained you wanted. In doing so, you may have constellated a Pleaser or Conformist Subself.
Or perhaps you rebelled against them and constellated a Rebel or Addictive Subself.
In either case, when caretakers pushed or pulled you toward directions and paces they demanded, you received the message that they did not accept and love you as you naturally were.
REPROGRAM YOURSELF FOR YOUR DIRECTION, AT YOUR PACE
Transcend your conditioning.
Embrace your hidden parts and keep your protective reactions available for those moments when you consciously choose to use them.
Witness yourself. Center yourself.
Coordinate your love life in ways that meet the needs of both your wild and controlled subselves.
Do this exercise alone or with a witness. Either way, respond aloud, even if no one hears you.
Record your responses and listen to them later. You may discover additional insights.
BEGIN THE EXERCISE
Lie on your back with your eyes closed, legs apart, and arms at your sides.
Take long, slow breaths through your mouth. Let your belly expand when you breathe in and fall when you breathe out.
Make a soft “ahh” sound as you release all the air.
RECALL THE EXPERIENCE
Recall a time WHEN SOMEONE PUSHED YOU into something sexual or romantic you were not ready for, or WHEN SOMEONE HELD YOU BACK from something you were ready for.
About how old were you?
Tell the story—and relive the incident—in the present tense.
What EMOTION do you experience as they push or pull you?
What body sensations do you feel during this experience?
Feel that emotion now.
Sink more deeply into the feeling.
INTENSIFY IT.
Imagine that—perhaps unlike the original situation—you can express yourself now.
Tell your pusher or puller how you feel.
Amplify and EXPRESS yourself to the person or people involved.
IDENTIFY THE PROGRAMMING
What limits, fixations, conclusions, attitudes, and INNER VOICES—or subselves— did this experience create or reinforce within you?
How did the fixations, conclusions, attitudes, and subselves that developed or strengthened from this experience serve you then?
HOW HAVE THESE SUBSELVES AND ATTITUDES PROTECTED YOUR INNER CHILD THROUGH THE YEARS?
How do these protective subselves and defensive attitudes serve you NOW?
What do your protective selves need?
REVISE THE SCENE
REVISE AND RETELL THE SCENE you just relived.
Retell it with a new script that frees you in situations that resonate with the original experience.
Let your new version include positive possibilities and choices that were unavailable to you then.
CREATE YOUR AFFIRMATION
Create an AFFIRMATION—a reminder sentence—to help you remember that you can choose your response when sexual, romantic, or relationship situations trigger an old imprint.
Say your affirmation aloud.
Affirm it again, louder.
Shout it.
IMAGINE A FUTURE CHOICE
Imagine a future situation in which an issue involving sex, love, or relationships triggers your old automatic reaction.
Ask the subself that carries your old reaction to express its CONCERNS.
Say aloud what it tells you.
Now ask the subself that says “yes” to new options what it wants in the situation you imagined.
Listen to both.
CENTER YOURSELF
CENTER yourself between the subself that offers your old reaction and the subself that says:
“Reflect and choose.”
Proclaim the steps you will take to meet the needs of both subselves while maintaining your power to choose your own direction and pace.
SHARE THE EXERCISE
Share this post with a person or group who may benefit from it.
RECALIBRATE CARETAKER CONDITIONING: Decide Your Direction & Pace (Chakra 3: Empowerment): Reprogram-Yourself-
From TEACH TANTRA by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D., Dean & Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, School of Counseling &Tantra
>
Click https://wp.me/p1TVCy-6Mg for more on this.
>
Context: As you grew, from fetus to teen, caretakers & institutions imprinted different levels of your brain:
>
Your spinal nerve (Level 1) for body reactions,
your limbic system (Level 2) for emotional responses &
(Level 3) for thinking patterns.
>
Behavior, not just their words, showed or lacked love that imprints each level of your brain.
>
You developed Level 2, emotional consciousness, as you interacted with caretakers, siblings, peers, schools & media. For you to feel fully loved & develop at Level 2, you need EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION & CONTACT WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, CARE, PROTECTION & SUPPORT FOR YOU TO CHOOSE HOW & WHEN YOU MEET YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS.
>
You get an example of Level 2 programming when you consider your attitudes toward your sexuality, anger, or spirituality. The Exercise in this intro suggests you probe the origins & power of your sexual conditioning. If parents, religious guides, media icons, literary paragons, authority figures, & peers encouraged you to explore sexuality at your own pace & in your direction, you grew sexual & romantic inner voices & a center to coordinate them. But if your caretakers & others discouraged you, you may have depressed your sexual & lover parts. Perhaps they imprinted you with their attitudes toward masturbation, sex with people with disabilities, or sex with people of races, body types, ages, religions, occupations, wealth, location, or education that differ from or seem similar to yours.
>
Did caretakers, media & peers stop you from doing what you wanted? Did they make you do what you didn’t want to? If they interfered with your erotic explorations, maybe you may have conformed to or rebelled against what they wanted. If parents forbade self-pleasuring, they held you back. If, on the other hand, they pressed you to masturbate instead of sharing sex with people, they pushed you to masturbate.
>
When people pushed or pulled you, they implied you lacked the judgment to choose for yourself. They wanted you to be different from how you’d develop if you had explored your interests unfettered; they neither pushed nor restrained you.
>
Maybe you obeyed them & acted as if those who pushed or restrained wanted & constellated a Pleaser or Conformist Subself. Or you may have rebelled against them & constellated a Rebel or Addictive Sub. In either case, if your caretakers pushed or pulled you in directions & paces they demanded, you know they didn’t love you as you were naturally.
>
REPROGRAM YOURSELF FOR YOUR DIRECTIONS AT YOUR PACE
>
Transcend your conditioning. Embrace your hidden parts & keep your protective reactions for when you choose to use them. Witness & center yourself; coordinate your love life in ways that meet the needs of your wild & your controlled subs. Do the Exercise alone or with a witness, & in any case, RESPOND ALOUD, even if no one hears you. Record your responses & listen to them later for more insights.
>
Lie on your back, eyes closed, legs apart, arms at your side. Take long, slow breaths through your mouth; let your belly stick out when you breathe in &fall when you breathe out. Make a soft “ahh” sound as you let all the air out.
>
Recall WHEN SOMEONE PUSHED you into something sexual or romantic you weren’t ready for, or WHEN THEY HELD YOU BACK from something you were ready for. About how old were you? Tell (& relive) the incident in the PRESENT TENSE.
>
What EMOTION do you experience when they push or pull you?
>
What body sensations do you feel in this experience?
Feel that emotion now. Sink into the feeling more deeply. INTENSIFY it.
>
Imagine — perhaps unlike the situation you’ve relived — you can express yourself now & tell your pusher (or puller) how you feel. Amplify & EXPRESS yourself to the person(s) involved in the situation.
>
What limits, fixations, conclusions, attitudes & INNER VOICES (subs) does this experience create or reinforce in you?
>
How did the fixations, conclusions, attitudes & subs you developed or reinforced from this experience serve you then? HOW HAVE THESE SUBS & ATTITUDES PROTECTED YOUR INNER CHILD through the years?
>
How do these protective subs & defensive attitudes serve you NOW? What do the protective selves need?
>
REVISE & RETELL THE SCENE you relived. Retell it with a script that frees you in situations that resonate with the one you imprinted. Your retelling should imply positive options.
>
Create an AFFIRMATION–a reminder sentence–to help you remember you can choose your response to situations that recall the situation that imprinted you to limit yourself in sex or love. Say what you affirm aloud.
>
Affirm your affirmation again, louder. Shout it.
>
Imagine a future instance where you get your old automatic reaction to a sex, love, or relationship issue. Ask the sub-self that carries your old reaction to say its CONCERNS. Say what it says.
>
Ask the sub that says “yes” to new options & what it wants in the instance you fantasized.
>
CENTER yourself between the sub that offers your old reaction & the sub that says Reflect & choose.” Proclaim the steps you’ll take to meet both subs’ needs.
>
Share this post with a person or group who can benefit from it.
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