Difference between a Friend and an Acquaintance
By: Editorial Staff | Updated: Dec-6, 2017
https://difference.guru/difference-between-friend-and-acquaintance/#google_vignette
You know deep down in your heart who is a friend and who is an acquaintance. But other than feeling a certain way for one or the other, how would you explain this to someone else? What makes a friend different from an acquaintance and why is it important to differentiate between them?
| Friend | Acquaintance |
| A person you care deeply about and with whom you share a connection | Is a person you have been introduced to |
| Can become an acquaintance if the relationship grows cold | Can become a friend if you get to know each other better and discover shared interests |
| Has already formed an opinion about you and likes you as a human being, and vice-versa | Has not yet formed an opinion about you as a human being, nor does he wish to, and vice-versa |
| Your relationship depends on common interests and feelings for each other | Your relationship depends on context (for example, working together) |
| Spending time together is comfortable and relaxing | Spending time together is mandatory if you wish to keep the relationship going |
| The relationship has a level of emotional investment | The relationship has a social value |
| Does favors for you because he is interested in your well-being | Does favors for you because it is socially required, so as not to be rude and so that you can owe him a favor in your turn |
| Physical contact is common | Physical contact is not that frequent |
| Is familiar around your belongings | Is polite and reserved around your things |
Definitions
A friend is a person you are not related to, but whom you trust and you care about deeply. People usually choose their friends from their peers as they have better chances of finding people who share their interests or who have the same taste in music, film, sports and more. Another reason why friends are likely to be from the same generation consists in them being able to relate to the daily struggles of the individual. A child will have someone to play with, a high school student will have someone to talk to about the changes the body and the heart go through, college students have someone to share their exciting new experiences with, and so on.
More than someone who enjoys the same things you do, a friend also has your best interest at heart. Friendship implies caring about an individual and a willingness to do things for the other person. There are favors you can ask of a friend and favors you would do for a friend. There is also a certain level of intimacy as the closeness between individuals allows for very personal confessions and trusting the other person with delicate information about yourself.
An acquaintance is someone you know – you have made their acquaintance in some context. This means that you have either been formally introduced or you know about each other from a common group of people. An acquaintance can be a co-worker, the friend of a friend, a person you interact with at social events, etc. Your attitude around this person is polite and reserved. There is a level of trust between you, in the sense that, when given a choice, you would pick each other out of a group of people if the others were strangers.
Usually, an acquaintance is a person you know in a certain context but with whom you would not care to spend time in a different situation. Not that you dislike each other, but because you share few interests. Also, the amount of information you have about an acquaintance depends on circumstances (you may know where a person lives or where their kids go to school, but not know whether they have brothers or sisters, are married, or own pets).
Friend vs Acquaintance
So what is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?
The main difference between a friend and an acquaintance is the level of intimacy you share with either of them. A friend is a person you have a strong connection with. An acquaintance is just someone you know by name and with whom you have a contextual connection with (from school, from work, from your friend’s party, etc.).
A friend is someone you know. You know their past and you can even predict their reactions in future situations. Your opinions about each other are formed. An acquaintance is someone you have been acquainted with but you do not know intimately, nor wish to do so. Your opinions about each other are superficial and each of you is careful and reserved, although friendly and polite when interacting.
You want to spend time with a friend because it’s comfortable and relaxing. You have to spend time with an acquaintance if you want to keep the relationship going, even if only with the purpose of widening the circle of people you socialize with. In some cases, an acquaintance that you get to know better can become a friend. Likewise, a friend you have lost touch with and who has changed too much can become an acquaintance once the connection between you is lost.
There is physical contact between friends. They can hug and kiss when they meet or when they say goodbye. They can take photos in which they huddle really close and they put their arms around each other. On the other hand, you act more distant when it comes to an acquaintance. You are not comfortable with touching each other and if you take pictures, you lean toward each other rather than hug. There is an intention to be polite toward that person, but there is no underlining feeling of love and caring for the other individual.
There are things you do with friends and things you do with acquaintances. Friends can take part in more intimate events, whereas acquaintances are usually kept at a distance. You would ask a friend to accompany you to the doctor’s office if you are scared to go alone. You would not want a person you do not have a strong connection with to be there.
Also, favors are usually done between friends. Some acquaintances can intervene and help you out, but the situation is different. Good friends help you out because they are genuinely interested in your well-being. They do not keep tabs on how much was done as long as it was within their power to help you. When calling on a favor from an acquaintance, the reason they step in is different. They want to keep their relationship with you and they do not want to offend you by saying no. There is also the issue of you having to pay back the favor at some point.
Friends and acquaintances also differ in the way in which they behave around your belongings. Acquaintances are more respectful and reserved. When visiting your house, an acquaintance might make all the right compliments, sit where he is invited to sit and eat whatever you are serving. A friend will feel right at home, will help himself to food and will even ask you for extra things to make his visit more comfortable. The important thing is that when a friends asks you, you are more than happy to comply because you want them to stay and feel comfortable. However, you are less emotionally invested in a visit from an acquaintance.
Acquaintance vs Friend – Definition (With Examples)
March 13, 2018 Amanda Haworth, Last updated September 16, 2022
Scientifically reviewed by Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.
There are a lot of people in the world, and as you go about your day-to-day life there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to meet some of them.
While many of the people you meet will remain acquaintances, some of them will become your friends.
The difference between a friend, acquaintance, close friend, and intimate friend
There are 4 stages of friendship – acquaintance, casual friend, close friend, and intimate friend:
- An acquaintance is a person you know, but who is not a close friend.[2] It’s the person you run into in the hallway or feel comfortable meeting in a group setting, but usually not by yourself.
- A casual friend is a person you are more emotionally attached to.[3] You feel comfortable meeting with this person one on one.
- A close friend is a person you spend time with regularly and can depend on. You feel comfortable reaching out to this person at any time.
- An intimate friend is someone you can share anything with.
One study found that the difference between friends and acquaintances is that we reveal much more of ourselves to a friend than an acquaintance, and we try harder to impress acquaintances than friends.[1]
Considering these two components can help you determine whether someone is your acquaintance or your true friend:
- How much do I trust this person/how comfortable am I sharing the more personal details of my life with them?
- How concerned am I with impressing this person/how comfortable am I being my true self around them?
Now let’s take a closer look at each of the different categories of friendship and how they play out on a day-to-day basis.
Level 1. Acquaintanceship
Acquaintances can be people you’ve just met as well as people you’ve known for a while. It isn’t necessarily the amount of time you’ve known a person that makes them an acquaintance (because it’s entirely possible to become close friends with someone very quickly).
A person is your acquaintance if you only see them coincidentally instead of making intentional plans to see each other. With an acquaintance, you will say “hello,” ask surface-level questions about life (work, the kids, the weather), and move on. Acquaintances are not people you discuss personal details or serious topics with.
An example of an acquaintance is the friend-of-a-friend who’s always present at your group hang-outs but who you never hang out with unless your mutual friend is also present. This is the person who is close friends with your close friend, but the two of you are not close friends with one another.
Another example is someone you regularly encounter at social events, and although you may have a brief conversation when you see each other, you never make plans to see each other on purpose.
Like we mentioned before, you may feel more of a need to impress your acquaintances than you do with your friends. When you are at this level of friendship with someone, they are still closer to “stranger” than “friend” and you are still trying to make a good impression.
If you don’t know someone very well, you’re probably not going to show up to hang out with them in your pajamas (like you would with a close friend). You’re also probably not going to share your deepest, darkest secrets with them– as an acquaintance, you simply aren’t at that level of closeness with one another and it would likely come across as needy.
Here’s an example using one of my real-life acquaintances:
I like to take my dogs to a local dog park when the weather is nice. I don’t go on the same days or at the same times, I just go whenever I get a chance and feel up to it.
There are many different people at the dog park, but I’ve encountered the same woman on more than one occasion and every time she’s there we end up talking. These conversations are always exclusively about our dogs, the military (since the dog park is on a military base), and events taking place in our city.
We don’t meet up on purpose, we don’t discuss the more personal details of our lives, and we don’t make plans to hang out in the future. But if we happen to run into each other again, that’s great. It would be rude not to speak with acquaintances when you see them, but it is not expected that you make plans to see them intentionally.
Read more about how to make friends here.
Level 2. Casual friendship
If, during the course of my conversation with this woman (let’s call her Joan), I decided that we had so many common interests or had such a good time talking that I’d like to invite her to bring her dog over to my house to play with my dogs, then we would be entering casual friendship.
A casual friend is different than an acquaintance because you make plans to see each other instead of just seeing each other in passing or by chance. However, with a casual friend, your hang-outs may be sporadic and are often related to the same type of event that took place when you met.
Remember how I invited Joan’s dog to come play with my dog? It makes sense because we met at the dog park and have dogs as a mutual interest. At this stage, I’m not going to plan regular dog play-dates or invite Joan’s family to come to dinner with my family.
A casual friend can be someone from work with whom you occasionally eat lunch or attend work-related conferences. You probably wouldn’t call on a casual friend to help you change a flat tire or pick you up at the airport.
Read more: How to find friends who are more like you.
Level 3. Close friendship
Now, if Joan and I were to occasionally hang out while our dogs played, and continue to see each other in passing at the dog park, we may discover that we both love Mexican food. We may decide to go get dinner one night, and while having dinner we may begin to open up more about the details of our jobs, our families, and our personal histories. We would then begin making intentional plans to spend time together more regularly.
At this point, Joan and I would be entering the stage of close friendship.
Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends
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In a close friendship, you spend time together regularly and the things you do together do not revolve solely around the event where you first met. Just like Joan and I would begin to do things that don’t involve our dogs, a close friend is someone you would hang out with outside of work or school, doing non-work and school-related activities.
A close friend is someone who makes an effort to help when you need it and can be depended upon to keep their word.
In close friendships, you are comfortable discussing the things that go on in your day-to-day life, both good and bad. You share your secrets, commiserate with one another on the bad days, and celebrate with one another on the good days.
Level 4. Intimate friendship
The last and deepest level of friendship is the intimate friend. This is a best friend– the type of friend who knows everything about you and you about them. No matter how far apart you may ever live, the intimate friendship is one that lasts a lifetime.
In an intimate friendship, there are few topics that are ever off-limits. The intimate friend is one who can point out your flaws and offer suggestions for improvement, and while it may be difficult to hear, it isn’t offensive because you understand how deeply they care for you (and you’re willing to do the same for them).
The difference between a close friendship and an intimate friendship is primarily time. A close friendship that withstands the ups and downs of life over an extended period of time is considered an intimate friendship.
Check this out: How to make close friends.
From acquaintance to close friend
After reading through the descriptions of each type of friendship, you may have realized you have more acquaintances than you think. While it’s perfectly normal for your acquaintances to outnumber your close friends, what can you do if you’d like to turn some of those acquaintances into closer friends?
First, check out our guide on small talk and conversation topics. This guide will teach you how to begin with small talk and gradually work your way to a deeper conversation with someone. Moving from superficial small talk topics to more personal conversations (in a natural, comfortable way) is the first step in turning an acquaintance into a close friend.
Having a successful conversation with someone (that isn’t small talk) creates a natural opportunity for you to plan a time to hang out with them. Like we explained before, making plans to spend time with someone moves you from “acquaintance” to “casual friend.” Here’s an example of what you can say:
“I really enjoyed talking with you. We should [go see that movie we talked about/go shopping at that place you mentioned/hang out and play that game together/get coffee and talk more about that] sometime! Are you free _________?”
Once you’ve hung out with someone once, it’s important to continue planning to spend time together if you wish to develop a close friendship. Make sure that you aren’t pushy when you initiate hang-outs; your social outings don’t need to be back-to-back, and you don’t have to plan another time to hang out immediately after finishing your last hang-out. Ideally, the other person will also initiate some of your plans to spend time together– this is an important hallmark of a two-way friendship.
When you are hanging out together, continue having quality conversations as we teach you in this guide. The more you talk and find things in common, the more comfortable you will become around one another. As a result, you will begin to open up more to one another and your conversations will naturally become deeper and more personal. When this happens, you will find that your former acquaintance is now your close friend.
Can friendships go from friend back to acquaintance?
Now that you know about each type of friendship and what you can do to move from acquaintance to close friend with someone, you may be wondering if your friendships can move in the opposite direction.
The answer is yes.
Because your friendships progress when you begin spending more time with someone, it stands to reason that they will regress when you stop spending as much time with someone. While this is not always the case (like in long-distance friendships), the inability to spend time with a friend does present new challenges when it comes to remaining close.
So if you notice that someone seems a little more distant than normal, ask yourself how much time you’ve spent with them recently to help you determine whether this could be causing your friendship to move backward.
friend
noun [ C ]
UK /frend/ US /frend/
friend noun [C] (PERSON YOU LIKE)
A1
a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family:
She’s my best/oldest/closest friend – we’ve known each other since we were five.
He’s a family friend/friend of the family.
This restaurant was recommended to me by a friend of mine.
We’ve been friends for years.
José and Pilar are (good) friends of ours.
We’re (good) friends with José and Pilar.
She said that she and Peter were just (good) friends (= they were not having a sexual relationship).
I’ve made a lot of friends in this job.
He finds it difficult to make friends.
Synonyms
buddy informal
chum (FRIEND) old-fashioned informal
crony informal disapproving
mate (FRIEND) UK informal
mucker UK informal
pal informal
Compare
See also
befriend Thesaurus: synonyms, antonyms, and examples
a person you know well and like
- friendWe’ve been friends for years.
- buddyHe’s one of my dad’s old war buddies.
- palThe heartthrob was spotted hanging with his Hollywood pals in L.A.
- mateUK He’s out with his mates.
someone who is not an enemy and who you can trust:
You don’t have to pretend any more – you’re among friends now.
What’s the difference between friends and acquaintances?
People often distinguish between an acquaintance and a friend, holding that the former should be used primarily to refer to someone with whom one is not especially close. Many of the earliest uses of acquaintance were in fact in reference to a person with whom one was very close, but the word is now generally reserved for those who are known only slightly.
Acquaintance is often found paired with nodding. Although nodding acquaintance sounds like it describes a person who is known just enough to nod at, it tends to be used instead to refer to a thing or field with which one has a small amount of knowledge or familiarity (and this is the meaning that the phrase has had since its introduction to the language in the early 19th century).
acquaintance
noun
UK /əˈkweɪn.təns/ US /əˈkweɪn.təns/
C1 [ C ]
a person that you have met but do not know well:
a business acquaintance
Compare
buddy noun informal
chum noun (FRIEND) old-fashioned informal
crony informal disapproving
mate noun (FRIEND) UK informal
mucker UK informal
pal noun informal
[ U ] formal
used in some expressions about knowing or meeting people:
I have absolutely no acquaintance with the family.
You have yet to have the pleasure of her acquaintance.
A small girl of my acquaintance insists on eating cornflakes without milk, flake by flake.
on further acquaintance I wasn’t sure about Darryl when I first met her, but on further acquaintance I rather like her.
[ U ] formal
acquaintance with Sadly, my acquaintance with Spanish literature is rather limited. Fewer examples
- He gradually lost contact with all his old acquaintances.
- Professor Stevens is a professional acquaintance of mine – shall I introduce you to him?
- I recently met an old work acquaintance of mine and I hardly recognized him.
- I hope you’ll consider me a friend and not just an acquaintance.
- The news quickly spread around all our friends and acquaintances.
friend
1 of 2
noun
pluralfriends
1
a
: one attached to another by affection or esteem
She’s my best friend.
b
2
a
: one that is not hostile
Is he a friend or an enemy?
b
: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
showbiz friends
3
: one that favors or promotes something (such as a charity)
this trend has alarmed friends of the liberal arts—Raymond Walters
The friends of the library will host a fund-raiser.
4
: a favored companion
5
Friend : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war
called also Quaker
6
: a person included in a list of one’s designated connections (see CONNECTION entry 3) on a social media service
A 2012 study found that 57 percent of couples stay Facebook friends after a breakup …—Caitlin Dewey
friendless
adjective
friendlessness noun
friend2 of 2
verb
friended; friending; friends
1
: to act as the friend of : BEFRIEND
2
: to include (someone) in one’s list of designated friends on a social media service
I became more discerning with who I friended on social media.—Victoria Song
For me, Facebook is about staying in touch with people I care about. … But my kids see it differently, as a more casual connection. Hence, my son, who recently turned 21, has 1,000-plus friends. He has apparently friended everyone on God’s green earth except his mother.—Bella English
Phrases
be friends with
: to have a friendship or friendly relationship with
What Is a Friend, Anyway?
https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/what-is-a-friend/
What is a friend, anyway? A friend is someone who understands you, and if they don’t, they try to. They want to know what you’re all about and what you need. A friend is somebody who is there for you when they can be, but also sets boundaries when they need to. Many things make someone a good friend, and the definition of what makes a true friendship differs from person to person. Here are some qualities that make someone a friend that you’ll want to keep in your life for a long time.
A friend is someone who tells you the truth
It’s not easy to tell the truth when the truth is harsh. Sometimes there isn’t a way to dance around a subject or placate somebody. Sometimes the truth is raw and real. There are moments when you need to say what needs to be said, and sometimes there’s no way to sugar coat things. A true friend will find a way to tell the truth no matter how hard it is because they don’t want to hide things from you or let there be the elephant in the room that’ll get in the way of your friendship. They care about you and want you to be well, so if they see that something’s hurting you, they’ll tell you. If they’re doing something that is hurting either or both of you, they’ll let you know, too. A true friend is in it for the long haul, and they’re willing to work through problems in a friendship so that that’ll be the case.
A friend is loyal
If you want to keep somebody in your life, you’re going to honor their feelings, and you’ll be loyal to them. So, if someone is talking behind their friends back, you’ll tell them. They won’t let it slide; they’ll say, “That person is my friend, and I’m not comfortable with this conversation,” or something similar. You’ll remain loyal to your friend, too. When you’re friends with somebody, it’s essential that you’ll have each other’s backs. It’s difficult to speak up sometimes when you’re in a situation where others are gossiping about your friend. It can feel uncomfortable, but it’s important to speak up for your friends. When your friend needs you, you’ll be there. We’ll get to that next!
A friend is there when you need them
It’s not always possible to be there for your friends all the time, but if they physically and emotionally can, your friend will be there for you. When you’re going through a hard time or having an emotional crisis, they will support you in whatever way they can. A friend will make an effort to be there. Maybe, you have no place to stay, and they offer you their couch as a place to sleep. That’s an example of being there. It’s important to note that not everyone will understand what you’re going through or how to help, but a friend will try. They’ll give you someone to talk to, try their best to be there, and show you that you’re not alone.
A friend sets boundaries
Co-dependency is not a healthy dynamic. A good friend knows how and when to set boundaries. One person can’t meet all of your needs because that is not a realistic expectation to place on someone. You need to be able to provide those needs to yourself sometimes, and it’s vital to have a support network rather than one single individual that you lean on consistently. It’s important to remember that people are human beings with their troubles and limitations. A friend will be there for you, but they’ll also be there to set boundaries. A friend will be honest when they can’t be there but show you that they still love you and care about your needs, even if they can’t provide them at the time. A real friend values your friendship, and they’ll make sure it’s a healthy relationship on both ends.
A friend makes an effort to understand
You might not always agree on things, but a friend will make an effort to understand your point of view. They won’t try to force their beliefs on you, and they’ll acknowledge that people are different. They know that not everyone will agree with them all the time. Friends make an effort to understand each other, and that’s what friendship is all about: meeting each other in the middle when it’s necessary and being by each other’s side in whatever way they can.
If you’re having trouble figuring out how to maintain friendships or finding understanding within your friendships, a great place to talk about it is therapy. Online counseling is a convenient option if you want someone with an unbiased point of view to talk to about issues that you’re having with friends or friendships. Your online counselor cares and wants you to develop healthy relationships. Friendships can last forever if the effort is there, and that is valuable.
